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One or both of you may have children from a previous heterosexual relationship.
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Or you may have a co-parenting arrangement with a gay male couple.
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If you are thinking of conceiving a child, there are several fertility options available. The most common way for a woman in a same-sex relationship to become pregnant is to use donated sperm. Some women inseminate themselves at home, but many choose to be inseminated in a clinic using a process called intrauterine insemination (IUI). Sperm from a donor are injected directly into the womb and, hopefully, the woman will become pregnant. You don’t always need to take fertility drugs, and the procedure is quite quick and inexpensive. If you have fertility problems, in vitro fertilisation (IVF) is another option. This is when the sperm are introduced to the egg in the lab. The mother will need to take fertility drugs. IVF can be more expensive, and it also doesn’t always work.Įither way, you will need to find a sperm donor. This could be someone you know, or an unknown donor who has donated their sperm to a sperm bank. If it is someone you know, think carefully about what you are looking for in a donor, what level of involvement you want him to have with the child, and why he would consider donating to you. Make sure you involve your partner in the discussions and give the potential donor plenty of time to think about it. If you plan to use sperm from a sperm bank, the donor could be Australian or come from overseas. The sperm will have been carefully medically screened and the donor will have been told about his legal rights. Most assisted reproductive technology clinics can organise donated sperm for you. If you are thinking about obtaining donor sperm from overseas, make sure you understand the laws and regulations of the country in question. Obtaining donor sperm from some countries could cause future problems both for you and the child, so it’s always better to think about local options if possible. Same-sex female couples usually tend to parent equally. Because a lot of planning usually goes into having a baby in a same-sex couple, there's a lot of time to think about what it means to be a parent, what roles you will both have and who else will be involved in bringing up the child. Research has shown that lesbian couples are more likely to share domestic duties and child care fairly than heterosexual couples.
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Both mums tend to have good quality relationships with the children. There are different ways in which to involve the biological father or other men in family life. For example, the couple may use sperm donated by a friend who then plays a part in bringing up the child. Or they may introduce the children to fathers, brothers or other men as male role models. Research has shown that children who grow up in same-sex families do just as well emotionally, socially and educationally as other children.Ĭhildren who have two mums may even have added advantages: they often experience higher quality parenting and they grow up to be more open minded about diversity.